It's official!
A truth-loving and constitutional law-knowing judge has been confirmed by the Senate.

The final is 58-42.

Anyone wanna dance?

More Accurate and Faster Fast Food

I love technology, but not as much as you, you see.

In the ongoing Cold War among fast food chains burgeoning technology is making things better for you and me the consumers as detailed in this article.

One thing that really surprised me is that McDonalds is “outsourcing” its order-taking.

…[O]utsourcing is expanding at McDonald's Corp., where some stores are using central call centers rather than cashiers in the restaurant to take orders from drive-thru customers.

The whole thing kind of confused me.  How does it improve orders to have someone take the orders offsite?  I guess with computers these days these folks take the orders and transmit the orders to a computer on-site at the McDonalds.  This would allow all the on-site employees to work making the food and serving the customers directly.  So is one person at this central call center assigned to each restaurant?  Or do they do multiple restaurants?  It would be interesting to learn more about this technology.

Still I would rather communicate over the intercom from Bob than order a hamburger long distance from Arjun in Madras.  Just kidding.  It’s not that kind of out-sourcing.  

Some of the good things that I have noticed are the digital confirmation screens that show what you order as you order it.  I’ve seen this at McDonald’s and Wendy’s.  Most Taco Bells I’ve been to have a digital read out of how much you owe in case you didn’t hear clearly.  Everyone is including more pictures and less words on their menus.  Some have credit card readers that you drive up to.

Who is the fastest? Wendy’s.
Wendy's, with 9,800 restaurants and $3.2 billion in annual sales, has led the QSR studies for speediest service nearly every year since they started in 1997.

Checkers however is on their heels.
Checkers trimmed that lead to just three-tenths of a second last year with debit and credit payment systems and touch-screen computers for order-takers.

At any rate I’ll have a number 3 with a Coke.

New Google Logo

This is a Thank-o for Fanco exclusive.
You will not see this anywhere else.
I have through my covert operations discovered not only that Google has a new logo in the works, but I have here for you, both of my readers, an exclusive preview of the new Google logo. This goes beyond the gentle changes they have made periodically to correspond to current events. I believe this move has been largely inspired by the new market which Google has entered.

Experts at Google say the new logo will be especially popular among "hip" college students and on the West Coast.










Just remember that you saw it here first.

Italiani pazzeschi (crazy Italians)

This is strange. Silvio Berlusconi has sworn off sexual relations until April 9, 2006.

Also in Italy a man is suing a priest for asserting that Jesus Christ existed.
It is also strange.

Cascioli filed a criminal complaint in 2002 after Righi wrote in a parish bulletin that Jesus did indeed exist, and that he was born of a couple named Mary and Joseph in Bethlehem and lived in Nazareth.

Cascioli claims that Righi's assertion constituted two crimes under Italian law: so-called "abuse of popular belief," in which someone fraudulently deceives people; and "impersonation," in which someone gains by attributing a false name to a person.

"The point is not to establish whether Jesus existed or not, but if there is a question of possible fraud," Cascioli's attorney, Mauro Fonzo, told reporters before the hearing.

Cascioli says the church has been gaining financially by "impersonating" as Christ someone by the name of John of Gamala, the son of Judas from Gamala.

Doing some further research, it turns out that this guy wrote a book, “The Fable of Christ.”
I am not going to post his website because frankly it disgusted me. But if you want to read his garbage, I trust you know how to use Google.

Anyhow, Cascioli knows and admits he has pretty much no chance of winning his case.

He has said he has little hope of the case succeeding in overwhelmingly Roman Catholic Italy, but that he is merely going through the necessary legal steps to reach the European Court of Human Rights, where he intends to accuse the church of what he calls "religious racism.

Hmm. Say what you want about the European Court of Human Rights, Luigi, but I smell a rat. It seems pretty obvious to me that this joker is trying to create a media buzz about him so he can sell more copies of his filthy book. At a cursory glance at his website, he appears to suffer delusions on par with Jack Chick. They must take a class somewhere, “Anti-Catholicism 101: Trying to Discredit the Roman Catholic Church for Fun and Profit”

Thanks to former roommate Chris who randomly sent me the Jesus article.

John Kerry is a jerk (as if you didn't know already)

So John Kerry must have thought to himself… Gee… no one has been talking about me lately… I need attention. So he goes and calls for a filibuster of Judge Samuel Alito’s confirmation. I seem to recall democrats saying they would only do this for an unqualified candidate. Time and time again we have seen that Alito is more than qualified for this position.

His problem of course is that Alito, a Catholic, might not blindly support abortion no matter what happens. As we recall Senator Kerry, who calls himself a Catholic, is one of the most rabidly pro-abortion politicians in the game. If the nominee will not bow down at the source and summit of all that is good, abortion (or gay sex… but not in this case), Kerry says “no fair” and wants to get rid of him.

Remember that time John Kerry ran for president? Remember how I didn’t vote for him?
Justice Roberts and Judge Alito are why I voted for Bush. They aren’t the only reason, but they are the biggest reason. We needed nominees to the bench who would uphold the Constitution and the Truth. We got them.

Now liberals can blather on and on about “root causes,” but if we someday overturn Roe or even Casey we can serious decrease abortion. We will have real tangible results. The argument is that the women will head straight for the alleyways or grab the nearest coat hanger, but I fail to see it. The statistics show that the vast majority of these abortions are unnecessary. I believe if abortion is illegal or even not available “on demand,” women will think twice before seeking the murder of their child. I seriously doubt that the number of clothes hanger/ back alley abortions pre-Roe even approached the over 1 million abortions that are conducted in a single year. (Ok maybe since the beginning time, but I mean since the founding of this nation.)

Once we make this grave injustice illegal we can move on to support the women who are facing unwanted pregnancies. Planned Parenthood could go into the (less profitable) business of counseling women with crisis pregnancies. Well they could actually help women, but they would probably put all their attention and effort into trying to re-legalize their main money maker, murdering children.

So pray for Alito’s confirmation, for all mothers in crisis pregnancy situations, for John Kerry, Ted Kennedy, and all other poor souls who seek to uphold our time’s greatest evil.

Google, China, and I: an Evil Trifecta?

Google has sold out to China. To extend their tentacles to over the country with a plurality of the world’s population Google has agreed to “block some sites that cover human rights, Tibet and other topics Beijing doesn't want the citizens of this communist nation to research.” This of course only applies to www.google.cn. Rest assured that www.google.com and www.google.ca will not be blocking these things.

China has an evil government as far as I can see.

•Human Rights violations as far as the eye can see. (I’m a poet…)

•Infanticide and compulsory abortion to limit population growth.

•Catholics in China are not allowed to have allegiance to the Vatican. Several priests have been arrested.

•Their near-slave wages sticking it to America all the time.

•Pegging their currency to the dollar to further stick it to us.

So is Google guilty by association?

Google is also refusing to turn over info to the federal government regarding pornography and minors’ access to it.

Now of course there are some privacy issues involved in that.

Don’t get me wrong. I love g-mail. My home page is a personalized Google page with my e-mail and my favorite RSS feeds. Most of my searching is done with Google. Wait a second… does that make me evil?

Uh oh…

Is using Google a mortal sin? Probably not.

Maybe that will be the subject of B16’s next encyclical.
Granted it would be an odd follow up to Deus Caritas Est (God is Love), but it would provide us with necessary instruction on how to approach Google.

A sticky situation.

The EPA is working to eliminate one of the chemicals used in the production of Teflon.  It turns out it is carcinogenic.  (What isn’t these days?)
Don’t throw away your non-stick pans or your stain resistant shirts though.
I am pretty sure the final product is safe.  But then again, what do I know?  Not a whole lot about chemistry or oncology.

Remember that these are the same guys that tried to shut down the Ghostbusters.  I am not sure if I trust them.

Probably the best website I've seen today.

This is an amazing website.

Turkey in Turkey

Go back to Jail and do not pass Go.
Wannabe Pope assassin Mehmet Ali Agca is heading back to Jail says the Supreme Court of Turkey. That should put a damper on his movie deal.

The 48-year-old former right-wing gangster had served 19 years in an Italian prison for the assassination attempt before being pardoned at the Pope's behest in 2000.

He was then extradited to Turkey to serve a separate sentence in an Istanbul jail for the 1979 murder of liberal newspaper editor Abdi Ipekci and charges dating from the 1970s.

Under new Turkish laws, his time served in Italy was initially deducted from the 25 years left on his sentence in Turkey.

But the Supreme Court ruled against this.

"There is no legal foundation for deducting Agca's time spent in prison in Italy from the punishments for crimes which he committed in Turkey," the court said in a written statement.

The moral of the story: don’t try to off the Pope… or anyone else for that matter.

99% of Quagmire Votes Valid

More than 99% of Iraqi votes valid.

This just goes to show that Iraq is truly a quagmire.

Perhaps we should do that whole dunk your finger in permanent ink thing in the US.  It might not be as neat as an “I Voted” sticker, but would be much more secure and would definitely cut down on fraud at least a little bit.

There are bigger voter fraud problems in the US however.



At any rate 3 cheers to the liberation of Iraq and its free and fair elections.

Hip Hip Hooray!
Hip Hip Hooray!
Hip Hip Hooray!

Huzzah!  Ok that’s too much.

-amf

Finally

I took this a couple times, because the first time I came up as Chalcedon compliant, but not 100%. I of course wanted to be 100%... I'm not sure exactly what I changed, except for one that I put in the middle that I wasn't sure about. Well here are the resultses.

You scored as Chalcedon compliant. You are Chalcedon compliant. Congratulations, you're not a heretic. You believe that Jesus is truly God and truly man and like us in every respect, apart from sin. Officially approved in 451.

Chalcedon compliant		100%
Pelagianism		50%
Nestorianism		33%
Monophysitism		33%
Adoptionist		17%
Docetism		0%
Arianism		0%
Apollanarian		0%
Donatism		0%
Gnosticism		0%
Monarchianism		0%
Albigensianism		0%
Modalism		0%
Socinianism		0%

Are you a heretic?
created with QuizFarm.com

Will the real Rod Marinelli please stand up?

In case you haven't heard the Lions have hired a new Head Coach, Rod Marinelli. I of course wanted to learn more about this guy after reading the story on ESPN.com.

So I did a Google image search for "Rod Marinelli" to see what this dude looks like. This picture below is not edited in any fancy way. I just moved the photos around in paint to give the 9 crucial images and make them fit into a reasonably sized picture. I did not alter names or captions or the photos. Just the locations. So, Google, which is the right Rod Marinelli? Kind reader, could you pick him out of a lineup? (click for a bigger version, or go to the actual GIS)

Left to Right, Top to Bottom Pick a number 1-9... I'll give you a hint. His name is Italian.



no peaking now

R
O
D

M
A
R
I
N
E
L
L
I

I
S

~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
Number 6!




If you knew, good job!
If not get used to his face.

Other things:

• He apparently is from Missourri: Football is a show-me game. I'm tired of talking," said Marinelli.
• He has never been a head coach.
• Oakland was also interested.
• Millen actually interviewed a lot of dudes this time
• Rod is an Olivia Newton-John Fan: "I want to be physical, that's my style," Marinelli said. "I want to run the ball with power, defend with power."

But will this fix the real problem?

With Lions president Matt Millen's players and coaches, the Lions are an NFL-worst 21-59 over the past five seasons since the former linebacker and TV analyst became an NFL executive for the first time.

Lions fans will approach the new season with excitement but shouldn't get their hopes up. When we have a winning record we can start talking playoffs.

Which reminds me. I still miss Wayne Fontes.

True story ca. 2002

It was about 1:30 or 2 am and I am sitting at the computer when my little bro walks past my door.  He turns on the light and then a second later he exits the bathroom (leaving the light on.)  He then passes by my room again, but this time he looks at me and says “What’s with your face?” and then continues into his room and crawls into bed.  I try to communicate but to no fruition.

Fall down go boom

Maybe I'm just an idiot, but I think it's funny when people fall down.

Chinese Cuisine

Methinks this isn't the best title for an article about a Chinese Chef.

It's the Year of the Dog! Recipes from Chef Richard Chen of Wing Lei at Wynn Las Vegas

Try my new P'zone

I have been trying like the dickens to find a suitable photo of Lavan Hawkins. These are the best i can find. If either of my readers can find a good one that would be nice.

"The Lockhorns" and its trouble with facts.

The Lockhorns is over all a terrible comic, but this one from January 16th takes the cake.

The “punchline” reads “Leroy’s rooting for the Packers… I’m rooting for the cable to go out.”

Okay.  Let’s assume that these comics are written three weeks in advance.  

Even so, there was no chance on, above or under the Earth for the Packers to be playing in mid-January.  Heck, I think I knew they wouldn’t make it after only a few weeks into the season.

It would almost be reasonable if Leroy was rooting for say the Bears, or the Colts, or the Patriots…  They at least played the weekend before.

Someone needs to work harder at the Lockhorns so they don’t come off looking like total idiots in the comics any more than they already do.

-AF

Cut 'n Pasted Statements on those Racist Republicans

Remember that one time the current Democratic president (LBJ) didn't go to MLK's funeral?

Or the time a Republican administration (Reagan) started the observance of MLK day officially?

Or this, From Ken Mehlman,"Under this President's leadership, we have made great strides towards fulfilling the promise of opportunity for every American. Thanks to the President's bold education reforms, we have narrowed the achievement gap between white and African American children. The homeownership rate among African Americans is near record highs, and African Americans are starting new businesses at a rate double the national average."

Or the time that any black comes out as republican and is called an uncle tom or had oreos thrown at him/her?

How about the fact that Bush has given more money to Africa than any other president?

What a bunch of bigots we republicans.

There was a case of a Black man who did a charity for the poor. The owner of the building he rented found out he was republican and jacked up the rent sky high. Suddenly Leftists are capitalists?
story here: internet link

geez, so long i should post it in my blog...i probably will! I'm too lazy to write a new entry.

andrew | Homepage | 01.17.06 - 8:05 pm | #

The Empire Strikes Back to the Future

Badly Designed Person

I’ll admit that some things are badly designed.  But if you are not an idiot they can be easily understood.

Some of these things on this guy’s website make me feel as though he is just an idiot.

Take this for example.  I wonder if the giant $ in front of the price was enough to tell him how much he owed.

This guy is just a plain idiot, and his suggestions are stupid.  I mean if you read stuff and pay half an ounce of attention, these things we encounter in daily life are pretty simple to use.

Arbitrary websites of an arbitrary period of time.

OK here goes.

•Video Game Music Archive
This is just a lot of fun.  Have a hankerin’ to hear the chaos emerald bonus level song?  It’s there.  I got some Sonic favorites and some obligatory Mario stuff.  I got one artist’s rendering of the “Seey-Gaaah” from the Genesis games.  It’s sort of lame being that it’s not singers but midi sounds, but whatever.

•Some guy’s webpage
This guy has a whole bunch of daily comics linked to on this one page for your convenient reading.  So break out the Cheerios and enjoy.

•Animated Engines
Some other guy made animations of several engine cycles.  There is your standard Otto Spark Ignition, and some fun stuff like the Wankel, more than just a funny name.

•Pi to 1 million decimal places
Like anyone could even know that.

•Stonehenge was rebuilt in the 20th century.

•Flajan Gaiden is the one of the better online games.

•Info about Jehovah’s Witnesses
Just sing to them: “You ain’t named after nothin’. You just don’t know the score.  You ain’t named after nothin’.  So get away from my Door.”  -Fr. Ned Donoher

This is pretty much all the result of “stumbling” in firefox.

right wing news

John Hawkins over at Right Wing News celebrates his 35th birthday today.
As a present I will direct my traffic (both of you) to his site for a selection of daily kos (vitriolic left wing blog) commenters on Mrs. Alito. If you have a shred of decency you will be offended by their comments.

Happy birthday also to Rush Limbaugh and John Hancock apparently.

Right Wing News is a decent blog. All the ads are a bit annoying, but it’s this guy’s bread and butter, being his day job.

So… read it if you want.

Rev. Thomas J. Gumbleton, Titular Bishop of Ululi

Everyone’s favorite Titular/Auxiliary Bishop is in the news.
(a little sarcasm there)

Gumbleton told the Post in an interview published Wednesday that he was abused in 1945 when he was a ninth grader at Sacred Heart Seminary in Detroit.

"As often happens in these cases," he said, the priest would invite him and another boy to a weekend cabin. "At some point, he would start wrestling with one of us. Then he would be putting his hands into your pants."

He declined to identify the priest, but he said the man has been dead for more than 10 years. "I don't have any animosity for him. I hope he's praying for me in heaven," he said.

This is all part of an attempt in Ohio to temporarily increase the statute of limitations in sexual abuse cases to 35 years.

The written remarks were prepared for a news conference near the Ohio Statehouse in support of a bill pending in the Ohio House that would open a one-year window for sex abuse victims to sue the church for alleged abuse that occurred up to 35 years ago.

This is the man who claims that homosexuals “make love more humanely, largely because they are better able empathetically to feel what their partner is feeling.” Here is more on his views on Church teaching on Homosexuality. He is also an advocate of ordination of women.

Of course, increasing the statute of limitations is not anything terribly wrong, but I feel that it can bring up cases that have long since been resolved by members of the clergy who have through years and years of prayer and devotion to the Lord have healed themselves of whatever provoked them to abuse children. Opening an old wound up may be counter-productive in that regard. I don’t precisely recommend “forgive and forget,” but some of these crimes do not need to be resuscitated.

I think this, as well as his attempts in other states to do the same, may be part of his greater agenda of his Call to Action group to change the hierarchy of the Church. This hierarchy is what he proposes is the cause of the abuse. I tend to disagree. We need careful monitoring in our seminaries. We need full personal and spiritual development of seminarians.
I found a nice article here about the craziness that is Call To Action.

We must pray for the Church, Her Leaders, and all those who oppose Her.

-Andrew

Pando Bear and CSPAN

There is a neat new service on the internet, and that service is Pando.
Pando is currently in beta testing, but it really streamlines the sending of attachments.

The days of clogging your in or out box with attachments are over.
The days of uploading each file individually are similarly over.

Do you want to send 20 photos?
Some home movies?
Great. Anything up to 1 GB is fair game in the beta version.

So yeah.  If you have to send a bunch of stuff at once, it really doesn’t get much better.

Also, Pando kind of sounds like Panda.

…

In other news, I’ve been watching CSPAN since I woke up watching all of these Alito hearings.  I am impressed with his qualifications and his integrity.  He handled all of the questions… and opining… headed his way very well.  You kind of hear the same questions over and over though.  

CSPAN’s coverage has very little commentary, aside from some call-ins during the breaks.  Call-ins which I don’t think they screen, since 1/3 of them weren’t intelligible.  
They have 3 phone numbers for Democrats, Republicans, and Independents.  They alternate between viewpoints, so the commentary is pretty balanced.

…

I am still unemployed.  I’ve been playing video games and occasionally searching for gainful and meaningful employment.  My life is quite boring at the moment.

…

Enjoy the rest of the internet!

-Andrew

Alito and the Democrats

So, what’s going on in the world?
Well, some Alito character is in the midst of confirmation hearings.    He apparently is hot.  I guess I can see that.  He is well-qualified.  I believe it.
I truly hope he will be an excellent justice.
That is if Ted Kennedy et al. don’t have their way.
They are concerned over the usual thing, privacy.
Privacy as we all know is French for the right to murder unborn children.
They are also concerned with the President authorizing wiretaps without warrants.
Maybe Bush was just trying to be like Clinton and Carter?

The democrats should change their symbol to the Goldfish with as short of a memory they have.  Nast really dropped the ball.  I guess the jackass is still representative, though.

This is the same party that joined in the beating the war drums.  This is the same party that knew that Saddam Hussein had WMDs.  …that voted before the war before they voted against it. …that nominated Howard “YEARGH!” Dean the Chairman of their party. …that criticized Bush for not doing enough to prevent 9/11 while it decries his attempts to not letting it happen again.  …that criticizes Alito’s membership in CAP, when FDR nominated a former KKK member.

I’m not a fan of Democrats, as you can see.
Republicans are better, but certainly not perfect.  Maybe I’ll yell at them later.

Well
It's conclusive
98% of people like the internet.
and 65% of stats are fabricated.

Informal Poll

I am doing an unscientific poll.

Do you like the internet?

comment yes or no.

I will post results later.

I'll start things off.

Yes... I like the internet.

More Capital Punishment

Where’s Snoop Dogg and Joan Baez now?

SACRAMENTO, California (Reuters) -- California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has ruled out a clemency hearing for the state's oldest death row prisoner.
Clarence Ray Allen, 75, is scheduled to be executed on January 17 for ordering three murders while serving a life sentence in prison. He is blind, deaf, and confined to a wheelchair.
Allen would be the second-oldest man executed in the United States in recent decades. In December, a 77-year-old Mississippi man became the oldest prisoner executed in the United States since it resumed capital punishment in 1977.
Citing the failing health of their client, who suffered a heart attack in September, Allen's lawyers have sought to stay his execution. A federal judge last month declined their request.

I’ve already stated that I am against the death penalty, but I’d like to know where all the protesters are.  I guess since this guy didn’t write children’s books his life is worthless.

I do find it kind of Ironic that they asked for a stay of execution because he is sick.

While in prison in 1980, he ordered witnesses to his initial murder to be killed.  So this guy was obviously still dangerous while in prison, but I am pretty sure this is no longer the case.  

This execution is unnecessary.  This man no longer offers danger to society.  He is confined to a wheelchair and blind, for the love of Pete.

The death penalty isn’t even effective if it takes over 20 years to kill the guy.  Any threat they pose to society is still credible and would likely happen within a few years.  Of course I don’t really know that for a fact or anything, just a guess.  

Let him live, Arnie.  

Sources:
Reuters via CNN.
This guy.

Best NCAA Football Program ever.

Well we may have suffered a disappointing season, but I guess I have this to bring me some semblance of peace.  The University of Michigan holds the following records.

1. The most total wins in college football history - 849


2. The highest all-time winning percentage (.74421)


3. Leading the NCAA in home attendance every year but one since 1974.


4. The longest current streak of having over 100,000 at a home game - 186 consecutive games.


5. The longest current bowl game streak - 31.


6. The longest current streak of non-losing seasons - 38


7. The current longest number of games in Div 1-A since last being shutout - 273 games through 2005 Alamo Bowl.


8. The most televised school in college football history (356 televised games).


9. The largest NCAA crowd to ever watch a football game: 112,118 on November 22, 2003, at Michigan Stadium.


10. The largest delta (points for minus points against) in college football history.


11. 42 conference football championships (most of any team in any conference)


12. 25 undefeated seasons (more than any other Division 1-A school).


13. Highest all-time strength of schedule (SOS) rating in college football -- per cfbdatawarehouse.com.


14. 74 years since playing a (non WWII era) non Division-1A opponent, longest of any program in the country.


15. 109 winning seasons -- most in college football history.


16. 11 National Championships: (1901, 1902, 1903, 1904, 1918, 1923, 1932, 1933, 1947, 1948, 1997)


17. One of only two schools with a winning record vs. every Division 1-A conference, including independents.


18. "The Victors" is the only fight song inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame.


19. The number one sports rivalry: Michigan vs. Ohio State, according to ESPN's "Top 10 Greatest Sports Rivalries"


20. The best helmet in football, according to ESPN's "End of Century" Special


21. The best uniform in sports, according to ESPN2's 64 Team Bracket Results[2]

The above was stolen from our good friends at Wikipedia.
By the way in case you didn’t notice:  UM won the national championship 4 times in a row, 1901-1904.  Hmm that’s better than the 2.5 times USC is trying for today.
Yeah I know it was over 100 years ago, but folks say it never has been done before, when it obviously has.

The Rose Bowl is on ABC, and that means only one thing.
Aaron Taylor.
Aaron Taylor is the best college football commentator ever. I mean just look at him. This is one of the better photos i could find.
He's lost the earrings and shaved his face since his days in the NFL.
He is still pretty young, but I don't know his whole story. Was he injured? He seems to talk out of one side of his mouth. Perhaps he had some sort of head injury? I don't know. But he is a giant loveable bear.
He is funny too. In that big guy that kind of seems dumb but really isn't all that dumb sort of way.

Check out this live chat interview from 1997. It will make you lol.

Some excerpts:

Are you gay - Posted by Michael of Milwaukee
Only if you are, Michael. Please meet me in a private chat room.
...
How does it feel to pancake someone? - Posted by Craig Eichhorn of Houston, TX
It feels good, very good. It's like going to the bathroom for yourself for the first time.
...
Does Brett really fart in the huddle???? - Posted by John Prue of Kenosha
And everywhere else he gets a chance.

Well I guess I should watch this game...

Schism Makes Baby Jesus Cry

This is upsetting.
Schism makes Baby Jesus cry.
The Ecumenical Catholic Church differs from its cousins … in its beliefs that priests can marry, men and women can be ordained and the Eucharist is open to all those baptized and in its discernment of contraception, divorce and sexual orientation.
Ecumenical Catholics say they adhere to the ever-constant beliefs of the first 800 years of the Catholic Church and differ only on fluid organization and policies.
Right…  
Let’s explore this then.
•The first 800 years of the Church did not have ordained women.
•The Church from Christ on has always felt that divorce is an evil that should not be allowed.  Shall I quote from scripture?  How about Matthew 19 (3-12)?
Some Pharisees approached him, and tested him, saying, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?" He said in reply, "Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate."  They said to him, "Then why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss (her)?"  He said to them, "Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery."  [His] disciples said to him, "If that is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry."  He answered, "Not all can accept [this] word, but only those to whom that is granted. Some are incapable of marriage because they were born so; some, because they were made so by others; some, because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Whoever can accept this ought to accept it."   (Emphasis mine of course)

•As for contraception and homosexuality, the early Church is quite clear on what it believed.

Clement of Alexandria offers on contraception:
"Because of its divine institution for the propagation of man, the seed is not to be vainly ejaculated, nor is it to be damaged, nor is it to be wasted" (The Instructor of Children 2:10:91:2 [A.D. 191]). "To have coitus other than to procreate children is to do injury to nature" (ibid. 2:10:95:3).
For homosexuality see 1st Corinthians 6:9.  St. Augustine also offers the following:
[T]hose shameful acts against nature, such as were committed in Sodom, ought everywhere and always to be detested and punished. If all nations were to do such things, they would be held guilty of the same crime by the law of God, which has not made men so that they should use one another in this way" (Confessions 3:8:15 [A.D. 400]).
As for ordination of women look no further than Catholic Answers.
Thanks to Catholic Answers for the wealth of information they always are.  Thanks also so Mark Shea on whose blog I found the story.